Sunday, October 16, 2011

changes

i would say that i am adaptable. i tend to think i learn quickly.  i do ask a lot of questions though. 

i can come through things and be okay.  by things, i mean when situations change, dynamics thrown off, order of events altered, and physical changes of people, places, and things.  

i have finally noticed that although i haven't any doubt about making it through these things, i do have apprehension and anxiety about not knowing where all this "shit" is going to land (after hitting the fan.) 

i don't even necessarily believe these (or most other) changes are bad.  i ALWAYS end up in a better place when there's an upheaval.  it's the discomfort of the phoenix's fire that throws me off.  i guess it just seems that there's a place i go in my head that is unique from all the others.  it's a different thought process, a shift in what i'm used to.    

i'm not afraid of failing.  i know i can do this.  
i'm not afraid of opinions.  i have genuine intent, and a pure heart.  
i'm can keep my calm..... with lots of deep breaths and positive thoughts.    (mental image:  do NOT be the upside duck paddling chaotically). 

it's just change.  not sure why it freaks me out............................ but it does. 

i can accept each moment for what it's worth.   there's just a lot going on and it overwhelms me sometimes. 

 




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