Monday, February 11, 2013
Roadblocks and Revelations
It's so easy to forget about roadblocks and setbacks....... that is, until you hit one. A week or so ago I had a SHITTY ASS morning. Everything was going wrong and I was angry and frustrated, yet I was trying really hard for it to not turn into a shitty ass day, but I was definitely struggling. I realized that in the past, when I wasn't so addicted to working out, that I would have used ANY excuse to not work out. Any little thing would have been a good reason to skip a work out. For some reason it was different this time. When I had a shitty morning and my mind was fighting the day, I realized that I needed a work out EVEN MORE, and I started looking forward to it. I knew if I could keep my mouth shut (and not bite any one's head off or stick my own foot in it), that I could have a break, away from everything, and get my sweat on.
The thing about exercising, especially if it's kick ass, is that you don't really have time for the mental shit to creep in. When you're trying to keep up or push yourself harder, or when you're trying to breath or not fall off of a step, you don't have time to dwell on crap. It naturally goes away. : ) Aside from that mental side of it, there are physical and chemical reasons why when you work out (endorphins or something), your body releases the stress. DAMN! Isn't that amazing!?!?!!?!? Win freaking win.
Point is, the difference now for me, is that instead of using stress or frustration as a reason to not work out, I embrace the opportunity I have to GET THROUGH IT and feel a million times better. I'm so thankful this working out at lunch thing is working out so well. It really is a life changer for me. I don't have to fight with myself. Had I been attempting to work out in the evenings after work, I can guarantee that I would have kept my shitty attitude ALL day, and when I finally got off work would have for sure said "fuck that mess," and went home to the couch.
Okay, that was the roadblock. Here's the revelation:
I went for a run yesterday. First time in a LONG time. I've been working my ass off at the gym with cardio and strength.
Side note: The scale hasn't moved.... good god I've been working my ass off, but that damn number hasn't changed much (fluctuating between 173-175, started at 178). I jumped SO DAMN QUICK to tell someone online how that number isn't reflective of the work or progress they've done, so I know that part, but it sure is discouraging to keep seeing that same few numbers each week. I just keep thinking that eventually it's going start melting off, but I'm getting impatient! To be fair, my body definitely, without a doubt, feels different. I'm feeling more tone and strong, and my clothes are fitting a little bit better, so I'm not letting it get to me. Okay, that is really just a patience issue for me. I know this is working, and I'm realizing that maybe I need to kick it up a notch. Hence the run...
So, not only am I needing more cardio to get this fat the hell outta here, but I also signed up for a 5k run in early March. I haven't been running, so obviously I'll need to train a little bit, even to get to 3 miles.
Back to the point, I ran yesterday. 2 miles. Pretty much the entire thing, and you know what???????? It was fairly easy, and enjoyable. I'm shocked! This whole blog started a couple years ago when I started training for a half marathon. I've always had a love/hate relationship with running (mostly because it's always been hard and completely un-enjoyable), but I got my mind set on it and I did it. The thing that happened yesterday, that completely shocked me and motivated me, is that it wasn't too terribly hard. I still had to focus on breathing, and oh boy are my calves sore today, but I did it, I did it fast and I did it well.
: D Proud face!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to mention, that was the first time running with my minimalist shoes (New Balance Minimus). I've been wearing them for a while now to work out and just walk around, but never for running. Towards the end of that 2 miles, I could feel my calves freaking out, and holy shit I can hardly walk now. I'm assuming that will calm down, and all it tells me is that I need to stretch more and keep practicing. I am very very happy to know, however, that I can run a 5k race. Whew!
I'm thankful too, that even though the number on the scale hasn't changed much, that I received such a clear message yesterday on my progress. I know 2 miles isn't much, but being able to comfortably run it is a huge accomplishment and it was easier yesterday than the ENTIRE time I was training to do the half marathon. That right there, is some HUGE proof to me that the work I've been doing has made a difference.
The other thing that I realized while I was running, stumbling through trying to get my earphones to stay in and the right song on, is that again, for this new feat, I need to set myself up for success. I can't waste time and energy (and get all frustrated) on my music and earphones when I really want to kick some pavement ass. So, I will make sure to have the right earphones with me, and also, put some time aside to create a running playlist! I will definitely be putting my new Muse cd on my ipod - that will last me a while!! Realize how having a good upbeat tempo, or songs that I know and like is going to be a key thing for my running success.
That's it for now! Now, go out and get it on!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Setting Ourselves Up for Success
Now, don't be fooled. This journey isn't always easy.
However, I'm starting to realize that how I set myself up really determines how easy or hard it is.
The man and I actually went out to "shop" for water bottles this weekend. This may seem silly, but there were specific features I was looking for in water bottle that would help or hinder my goals. Realizing small things like this, and investing into making my life easier is a way that I am learning to set myself up for success.
Don't judge either... I know water bottles are easy to come by, but now since I'm using one religiously, every single day, and I have circumstances where I need to bottle to work for me.
My criteria:
- Not screw top. I was looking for a flip up or something. I don't want to have twist the lid five times each time I want a drink. The intent is to drink MORE water, not make it a chore to take a quick sip. ESPECIALLY in the middle of a work out. We only get a quick water break!!
- Not too many pieces. I'll need to wash this thing frequently, I don't want it to be like a damn sippy cup, where I have to take the pieces apart and let it dry completely to not worry about mold or bacteria.
- Not easily broken. There was cool flip up one, but it had a button that released it, and as awesome and convenient as that would have been, there's no doubt that I would have tossed that bottle and that sweet little flippy lid would have gone flying. Then I'd be stuck with another broken piece of crap.
- No sports squirty ones. Those piss me off because you have to either squeeze it or not, or blow air into it, and still sometimes water doesn't come out. And they make noise normally too. You'd think that wouldn't be so complicated, but again, I don't want to waste money on something and end up being stuck with something that isn't right for me.
-Want the measurements on the side. So simple, yet not all of them have it. I might want to measure something.... I could have lived without this feature, but I'm happy that I found one that had it. I typically use my free Body Builder.com cup thingy for my protein shakes, and we actually purchased separate, smaller containers (that won't spill in back-packs) for our juice, but you never know!
KEY FEATURE - I have to be able to drink easily out of it without spilling it all over myself. With the big ol openings, where the entire lid that screws off, I inevitably am ready for a wet t-shirt contest. I use this at work and while driving, and not making an annoying mess is a deal-breaker for me. (Yes Sister-in-Law, I've heard of cups. There truly is a shortage here.)
-Has to fit in a cup holder. Using this in the car, need it to fit in the cup holder.
So, there you have it. I did actually find the perfect one. The funny thing about this one, is that I used one briefly when it was left at my house. I was happy to return it to the rightful owner when I found her, but I really liked it, and was sad to see it go. I'm very glad to have found one just for me, cause it's PERFECT!
The Winner:
Aladdin Bottle from Target
I'm not a picky bitch either, so don't go there. I've just had a million different water bottles and some of them are truly a pain in the ass. I like the idea of setting myself for success, and realizing that the tools I use through-out the day, including during work-outs, matters. Making life easy is a good way to do the things you want to do without the added stress. MAKE IT EASY FOR YOURSELF.
One day last week we went out for the man's birthday. Got home late, got the kid to bed, and then went straight to bed. Guess what I forgot? To set up all of the stuff I needed for the next day. I didn't use that as an excuse, I still got it together in the morning and worked out that day, but let me tell you, it was a huge pain in the ass, and I still ended up forgetting things.
The gym is right across the parking lot. It's easy... IF I'm prepared. Typically, the night before, I'll get my clothes together, put them in the back-pack, measure out my almond milk (the whey protein is at work already), and get my snacks together. Taking time out of an already busy morning and subsequently running late, rushing to grab everything and I forgot my food. I didn't have proper snacks on hand. I found something and I survived, but the whole situation was just a FAT ASS REMINDER that I need to get it all together the night before. Simply, setting myself up for success. Just small things like that will make or break my attempts to choose health.
The water and juice bottles, even if they seem unnecessary, were important to the man and I both. Even just something reliable to carry the juice in, knowing it won't be spilling all over his work clothes in his back-back is an important way to set up for success.
Purchasing sports bras. Yeah, maybe I didn't need to spend money on clothes right now, but since I'm participating in some hard-core, fast-paced, bouncing around classes, I needed the support. I feel comfortable, my clothes aren't limiting me, and I have enough that I don't run out before laundry happens on the weekend. It's an investment. An investment into my health and success in choosing health.
I'm noticing more and more these little changes that make life easily. Not just any life though, the life I want to have.
However, I'm starting to realize that how I set myself up really determines how easy or hard it is.
The man and I actually went out to "shop" for water bottles this weekend. This may seem silly, but there were specific features I was looking for in water bottle that would help or hinder my goals. Realizing small things like this, and investing into making my life easier is a way that I am learning to set myself up for success.
Don't judge either... I know water bottles are easy to come by, but now since I'm using one religiously, every single day, and I have circumstances where I need to bottle to work for me.
My criteria:
- Not screw top. I was looking for a flip up or something. I don't want to have twist the lid five times each time I want a drink. The intent is to drink MORE water, not make it a chore to take a quick sip. ESPECIALLY in the middle of a work out. We only get a quick water break!!
- Not too many pieces. I'll need to wash this thing frequently, I don't want it to be like a damn sippy cup, where I have to take the pieces apart and let it dry completely to not worry about mold or bacteria.
- Not easily broken. There was cool flip up one, but it had a button that released it, and as awesome and convenient as that would have been, there's no doubt that I would have tossed that bottle and that sweet little flippy lid would have gone flying. Then I'd be stuck with another broken piece of crap.
- No sports squirty ones. Those piss me off because you have to either squeeze it or not, or blow air into it, and still sometimes water doesn't come out. And they make noise normally too. You'd think that wouldn't be so complicated, but again, I don't want to waste money on something and end up being stuck with something that isn't right for me.
-Want the measurements on the side. So simple, yet not all of them have it. I might want to measure something.... I could have lived without this feature, but I'm happy that I found one that had it. I typically use my free Body Builder.com cup thingy for my protein shakes, and we actually purchased separate, smaller containers (that won't spill in back-packs) for our juice, but you never know!
KEY FEATURE - I have to be able to drink easily out of it without spilling it all over myself. With the big ol openings, where the entire lid that screws off, I inevitably am ready for a wet t-shirt contest. I use this at work and while driving, and not making an annoying mess is a deal-breaker for me. (Yes Sister-in-Law, I've heard of cups. There truly is a shortage here.)
-Has to fit in a cup holder. Using this in the car, need it to fit in the cup holder.
So, there you have it. I did actually find the perfect one. The funny thing about this one, is that I used one briefly when it was left at my house. I was happy to return it to the rightful owner when I found her, but I really liked it, and was sad to see it go. I'm very glad to have found one just for me, cause it's PERFECT!
The Winner:
Aladdin Bottle from Target
I'm not a picky bitch either, so don't go there. I've just had a million different water bottles and some of them are truly a pain in the ass. I like the idea of setting myself for success, and realizing that the tools I use through-out the day, including during work-outs, matters. Making life easy is a good way to do the things you want to do without the added stress. MAKE IT EASY FOR YOURSELF.
One day last week we went out for the man's birthday. Got home late, got the kid to bed, and then went straight to bed. Guess what I forgot? To set up all of the stuff I needed for the next day. I didn't use that as an excuse, I still got it together in the morning and worked out that day, but let me tell you, it was a huge pain in the ass, and I still ended up forgetting things.
The gym is right across the parking lot. It's easy... IF I'm prepared. Typically, the night before, I'll get my clothes together, put them in the back-pack, measure out my almond milk (the whey protein is at work already), and get my snacks together. Taking time out of an already busy morning and subsequently running late, rushing to grab everything and I forgot my food. I didn't have proper snacks on hand. I found something and I survived, but the whole situation was just a FAT ASS REMINDER that I need to get it all together the night before. Simply, setting myself up for success. Just small things like that will make or break my attempts to choose health.
The water and juice bottles, even if they seem unnecessary, were important to the man and I both. Even just something reliable to carry the juice in, knowing it won't be spilling all over his work clothes in his back-back is an important way to set up for success.
Purchasing sports bras. Yeah, maybe I didn't need to spend money on clothes right now, but since I'm participating in some hard-core, fast-paced, bouncing around classes, I needed the support. I feel comfortable, my clothes aren't limiting me, and I have enough that I don't run out before laundry happens on the weekend. It's an investment. An investment into my health and success in choosing health.
I'm noticing more and more these little changes that make life easily. Not just any life though, the life I want to have.
Choose Health
First, let me say this: I joined a group on Facebook called Choose Health. (Thanks Mary Tyler Mom). It's pretty neat. There's lots of sharing and support going on there, but the reason I mention it is because I like the name. It's quite a brilliant idea if you think about it. Using that idea as a guage to make decisions, allows us to start fresh at EVERY SINGLE decision-making opportunity. No matter what choice we made yesterday, or earlier today, the question is fresh each time it comes up. The best part to me, is that every single one of us can answer that question for ourselves. It's not a specified way to live. It's tailored to what each of us needs to feel successful, and it simply reminds us to think about what health is to each of us individually.
It's also a committment. It takes the pressure away from our dirty little minds playing tricks on us.
Example (me talking to myself): Oh man, that cupcake looks delicious! I can taste the chocolate frosting in my mouth already. Do I want it? HELL YEAH I want it!!!!! Then comes guilt..... Do I really want it? Well... no, but it looks so good. Stop.... think about this brilliant question that I've committed to truly consider, and I ask myself to Choose Health..... Okay, I know I don't want it and I toss the entire plate into the garbage can immediately. Shit, it's been sitting on my counter for a week now.
That little pause, that break in my mind to re-asses what exactly that cupcake means. I'm not going say no every time. Sometimes to choose health, (for sanity? for fun? to celebrate?) I will say yes. And that is perfectly okay. I love chocolate cake and I REFUSE to cut myself off completely. But I will choose to have one and be done with it. Not drag on that fight in my mind. I hope that as I progress in my journey of choosing health that it will start to come naturally and more automatic.
It's crazy how MENTAL our success is. Especially for choosing health, whether it be the "eating" part or the "physical" part, the choices and the attitudes we have about it all is mental.
It's also a committment. It takes the pressure away from our dirty little minds playing tricks on us.
Example (me talking to myself): Oh man, that cupcake looks delicious! I can taste the chocolate frosting in my mouth already. Do I want it? HELL YEAH I want it!!!!! Then comes guilt..... Do I really want it? Well... no, but it looks so good. Stop.... think about this brilliant question that I've committed to truly consider, and I ask myself to Choose Health..... Okay, I know I don't want it and I toss the entire plate into the garbage can immediately. Shit, it's been sitting on my counter for a week now.
That little pause, that break in my mind to re-asses what exactly that cupcake means. I'm not going say no every time. Sometimes to choose health, (for sanity? for fun? to celebrate?) I will say yes. And that is perfectly okay. I love chocolate cake and I REFUSE to cut myself off completely. But I will choose to have one and be done with it. Not drag on that fight in my mind. I hope that as I progress in my journey of choosing health that it will start to come naturally and more automatic.
It's crazy how MENTAL our success is. Especially for choosing health, whether it be the "eating" part or the "physical" part, the choices and the attitudes we have about it all is mental.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Mistakes are just learning opportunities
That was my very very first time "juicing" ever (...by myself. I tried Sister-in-Law's and it was yummy!). I was horribly intimidated by the entire idea. Partly, because I was introduced to the idea as a FAST. Meaning, no food. Yikes, that's enough to turn me away running. I've been reading up on "juicing" and watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick, and Almost Dead." Good stuff, definitely worth your time to watch. It's on Netflix, available for streaming.
I'd decided not to do the fast, but instead, simply, add juicing to my life in general, maybe replacing a meal, but I was still intimidated. I know this is completely irrational, but I was afraid of the machine itself. I was afraid food was going to come flying out, or my hand would get sucked in and mangled. Neither of those things happened.
I will however mention, to please be cautious when putting a bunch of crap down the garbage disposal. I knew this already, and thought I was being careful, or basically put stuff down there like I would normally, but forgot that it was WAY more than normal. So yeah, long story short, the sink got clogged, as did the drain for the dishwasher. Don't let this happen to you. The man will not appreciate trying to clean up chunks of veggie and fruit pulp when it's his bedtime. Learn from my mistake. ; )
Anyhow.... the juice I made that night, and since then, has mostly been pretty delicious, but aside from the taste, I love what it does for me. When I drink it, I feel satisfied, so I actually decided that I'd replace it for my breakfast and switch my typical breakfast to my 10am snack.
Reasons why that is relevant:
1 - I was basically eating two breakfasts. I REALLY need the 10am snack so I don't pass out during my work out, but I realized I probably don't need a bunch of carbs and sugar just to sit at my desk for a couple hours (since I normally eat a wheat english muffin with peanut butter on it and coffee with sugary creamer) . Freaking AH-HA! PLUS, since technically I am tracking points with Weight Watchers, the juice is FREE. ZERO POINTS, but ridiculously good for me!
2 - Sister-in-Law told me this, and now I acutally get it (timing I guess), but now, I get most of the nutrients my body needs first thing in the morning and I'm done for the day. So, whatever I end up eating, I"m not missing out on the good stuff, already got that handled first thing. What a relief! Note - I am not saying because I get all my veggies and fruit as juice for breakfast that I can eat like shit the rest of the day, MORE veggies never hurt anyone, I'm just saying I don't have to WORRY about it. I still eat veggies through out the day as a main ingredient.
3 - This may not be relevant to anyone but me, but another irrational fear I had (or maybe rational...), was that I would be stuck in the bathroom... so, naturally, I got really excited when I realized I wouldn't shit my pants immediately after drinking the juice, even with coffee. GREAT!
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The man is drinking this juice willingly as well. : ) He's been commuting to work by bike, three days a week. FREAKING AWESOME! I'm not even "making" him. He's done it all by himself and I think he's really enjoying it. I can tell he likes how he feels and he's proud. : D Not to mention it's been below freezing when he's leaving the house. BRRRRR!!!! But he's determined, and that my friends, is simply all it takes.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Clarity Comes from Action
Today I had a "Snack ah-HA!"
I'd been feeling a little light headed toward the end of the group classes at the gym.
First time, duh, I didn't eat anything... I got really light-headed, had to slow it down, and felt like shit afterwards.
Second time I had an apple and string cheese and I still got light-headed, but it wasn't as bad and felt better much quicker.
Today I stuck with the apple and string cheese, but added half of a 100% whole wheat with flax sead sandwhich thin, and ah-HA! That did it. I feel fine! I'm going to have almond milk with whey protein for recovery right now, and eat another small snack in an hour or two. No one said I needed to eat all of my lunch at one time. ; )
So, the quote "Clarity comes from action," to me, is similar (but less cliche') as "You won't know until you try." It took me three times to figure out something that would work for my body. I didn't over eat, I got nutrition, I got enough fuel to kick ass. That's some winning strategy if you ask me, but the point is, I never would have figured it out if I didn't just do it. : )
I'd been feeling a little light headed toward the end of the group classes at the gym.
First time, duh, I didn't eat anything... I got really light-headed, had to slow it down, and felt like shit afterwards.
Second time I had an apple and string cheese and I still got light-headed, but it wasn't as bad and felt better much quicker.
Today I stuck with the apple and string cheese, but added half of a 100% whole wheat with flax sead sandwhich thin, and ah-HA! That did it. I feel fine! I'm going to have almond milk with whey protein for recovery right now, and eat another small snack in an hour or two. No one said I needed to eat all of my lunch at one time. ; )
So, the quote "Clarity comes from action," to me, is similar (but less cliche') as "You won't know until you try." It took me three times to figure out something that would work for my body. I didn't over eat, I got nutrition, I got enough fuel to kick ass. That's some winning strategy if you ask me, but the point is, I never would have figured it out if I didn't just do it. : )
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
our bodies are machines!!
Sometimes I forget that my body is a machine.
I started doing group classes at a gym. I couldn't count on myself to get out of bed at the crack of freaking dawn and work out in my living room. So, I joined the gym near my work. The cost is a higher than a normal gym, and surely more expensive than no gym at all, but there's a couple of key reasons why I made this (monetary) commitment, since I could just go run around the block, right?:
1- I'm paying for it and I don't want to waste my money. Ultimately, I want to exercise, but I have had the hardest time actually doing it. For whatever reason, I just couldn't MAKE myself get off my ass and do something active. Now if I don't, I'm wasting money. Trying to pay for a wedding and honeymoon right now doesn't leave much extra, but I'm considering this monthly payment a HUGE investment into my future, and of course, it won't hurt to look fucking amazing for my wedding. ; )
2- Accountability. There are people at my work who go to this gym, and frequently go work out at lunch. Seeing them go, them asking me if I'm going, and having to actually face up to someone if I don't go, is motivation for me. Also, although I'm new now, I have already started to meet people, and the instructors, at the gym and I would like to walk in proudly everyday and kick ass, not walk-in every other week and suck at the work out and know that I am not giving it enough.
3- Didn't even realize this as a reason, but now I'm noticing too, that the work outs are 10 million times better than working out alone at my house. The instructors target areas, change the routines, yell out to pump up the energy, and coach on form (VERY IMPORTANT). Work out videos just don't have that. I'm already not bored. I'm excited about even barely being able to keep up and I know that once I get better, there's so much room to keep pushing harder and harder. See, I'm excited... this is something I was totally missing when I was attempting to drag my comfy ass out of bed to go unwillingly work out in my living room. Which, brings me to the next reason;
4- Since my choice to work out doesn't have anything to do with staying in my nice warm covers, the choice is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to make. I'm already right there, there's classes at my lunch time, I have no good reason not to go. I like that. I didn't realize that I needed that decision to be easy for me. I would give myself such a hard time for being so lazy in the morning, and felt guilty about not making an effort to be healthy and strong (and look damn fine!). I can keep this up!!
5- This isn't so much a reason why I joined, but it is definitely going to make a huge difference for me, physically and financially. To use my lunch hour to to work out, I HAVE to get my clothes and food for the day ready at home and bring it to work with me. That automatically saves my money and calories to eat my lunch from home rather than going out to lunch (fast food, etc.). And.....the hard part is already done by the time my lunch hour comes. I already made the hard choices, and all I have to do is change clothes and walk over there.
YESSSSS!!!! Finally something that actually works for me. I've needed this for such a long time.
When my man was deployed to Iraq for the 2011 year, I worked out all the time and ate tons of veggies and I looked at felt amazing. A - MAY - ZING! When he got home (not blaming him at all!!), we just got lazy together. Who could help that? We got comfortable, and life happened and we didn't focus on healthy eating, and got stuck in the rut of whatever what quick and convenient. It's taken a year of this lifestyle to loose my muscle gain some weight back, and basically feel shitty, physically and mentally.
Side note- I am mostly not self conscious about my appearance. Thankfully, I have never mentally felt fat, I have always had confidence, but there's also a negative to that, and it's that I am normally fine with being lazy. I typically have needed to get to point of feeling physically disgusting before I've taken action. It wasn't until the year he was gone, where I 1)was trying to keep myself occupied, and 2)had the goal of getting in shape enough to have sex without being concerned about body fat flopping around. (Sorry to my future Mother in Law and Sister in Law, who sometimes ready my blog and would probably rather not know that detail, butttt, it's true, and it was a very good motivator.) Point is, it's the physical feeling of shittiness that motivates me. That is unfortunate, but at least there's something that will push me!
I don't like having the extra padding on my body. I don't like what it looks like in pictures, I don't like how it feels to clap my hands and have my flabby arms wave like wings (think, Oprah arms), and I surely don't like how my "skinny" pants feel tight now. I think I already mentioned that I WILL NOT BE BUYING NEW FREAKING FAT PANTS. I FUCKING REFUSE!!!!! I got rid of my larger sized clothes, knowing I never wanted to wear that size again. I still fit into my size 10 pants, but they're snug and THAT is enough of a rude awakening, among plenty of other reasons, to get my shit into gear and DO SOMETHING. (Among other reasons.... sugar. BLEH!! Tis the season, and that season is over, and as much as I enjoy cookies and pie and cake and monkey bread, I do NOT enjoy wasting money on new clothes in a size I don't want to wear. And I just feel nasty after all that sugary crap!!)
I can think about working out all I want. I can say I want to work out all day long. It finally dawned on me, (Thanks Nike!), to just freaking DO IT. Just do it. JUST DO IT. Keyword: DO.
So, to be clear. This is NOT a new year's resolution. This is in no way in hell a diet, don't even dare call it that. This is simply something that I want really really bad, and have finally figured out a way to make it happen.
I really hoped that after all the work I had done in 2011 that I would be able to keep it up. I had thought that my man would come home and we could work out together. Again, not blaming him at all, but that just didn't happen. I kept hoping we could somehow magically work our schedules or motivation and energy to get into the habit of doing something together, and I finally just realized I had to do it by myself. In 2011 I went with my friend Leia and it worked out great! Our schedules fit, our kids went to kid's club together, we carpooled, etc. Neither her nor the man could help me this time though.
I will admit, even though I refuse to diet, that I am tracking food on Weight Watchers. Again, that is an "investment" I made that I really didn't want to waste. I had signed up for a 3 month plan, that will be done the end of this month (January) and I don't think I'll be continuing it, but we'll see. I haven't tracked regularly up until this point, and I sure as hell haven't lost any weight (gained actually- shocking!), but thankfully, when I do finally get the motivation to work out, I naturally want to eat less crap. Why would I work so hard to burn calories and gain muscle, and then sabotage it with eating pumpkin pie for breakfast? So, I'm going to track this month, get my damn money's worth, which I already know works if I actually do it, and that will be my super banging kick-start. These work outs are already kicking my damn butt, so even a little bit of change in food intake (haha not diet) will make a difference.
All of that brings me to the point of this blog....
Last week I joined the gym and participated in my first group class exercise there. It was tough! !! The instructor had a mean work out lined up for us, and I pushed it, but with my complete lack of physical activity and poor food choices, I felt like shit afterwards. I started to feel light headed towards the end of the work out and felt nasty for a few hours afterwards, even after eating. When I asked, the instructor mentioned eating a snack beforehand, including carbs. (Maybe I should have known that... I did grab some almonds on my way over, knowing I needed to eat something, but it wasn't enough, and it was too late.)
That brings me to today, my second class (now that the holidays are over, I'm planning to go Mon-Thurs), and I ate an apple and a string cheese before, about an hour before. Guess what, I still felt light-headed. I followed up the work out with a almond milk/whey protein shake, and a banana, and I don't feel like shit now. That feeling went away pretty quickly, but what it made me realize, is that my body is a machine. I need fuel to give me energy and power. These are the sort of things people end up paying attention to when they work out. Those are not the things I was paying attention to when I was stuffing my face with spinach dip and french bread. Those are the things that I will learn, which snacks help me feel the best, and how soon I should eat before a work out. I will get used to fueling my body to kick-ass! Feeling like a machine was how I felt when I ran a lot to train for a half marathon. Realizing that the thoughts I had about running were totally separate from how my body actually performed. I pushed through wanting to take a break because I knew already that my body could handle it. It's so easy to feel intimidated about working hard and pushing your limits, but it's mental. My body is a machine that can accomlish WAY WAY more than my mind thinks I can. Note to self: Remember that!
I know it sounds like I'm giving myself a hard time. I'm not. Really. I just truly appreciate looking back and seeing how living my life one way will give me one set of results (heart burn for the first time in my life), and the results I get from living my life another way. I care about my life, for me, and also for the man I'm marrying this year, and of course for my daughter. For my daughter as an example, and even just to be around for her. Eventually I plan to have another baby and I want to start off in great shape before I get a new baby belly to work off. I care about my arms not looking fat in my wedding pictures.... I will look at those pictures for the rest of my life and I want to be tone and strong and .... even just comfortable. Comfortable to see those pictures and not wish that I could change something. I don't want disease. I dont' want to be sorry later on in life when it's too late. I know I can't wait for something to go terribly wrong before I try to fix it. Right now it's not too late. Every single day is a chance to start fresh. I'm setting myself up to win this time, because history shows that if I don't, then I fail.
It feels so much better to work hard than to feel guilty and lazy. SO. MUCH. BETTER. It's worth the effort.
-krista
I started doing group classes at a gym. I couldn't count on myself to get out of bed at the crack of freaking dawn and work out in my living room. So, I joined the gym near my work. The cost is a higher than a normal gym, and surely more expensive than no gym at all, but there's a couple of key reasons why I made this (monetary) commitment, since I could just go run around the block, right?:
1- I'm paying for it and I don't want to waste my money. Ultimately, I want to exercise, but I have had the hardest time actually doing it. For whatever reason, I just couldn't MAKE myself get off my ass and do something active. Now if I don't, I'm wasting money. Trying to pay for a wedding and honeymoon right now doesn't leave much extra, but I'm considering this monthly payment a HUGE investment into my future, and of course, it won't hurt to look fucking amazing for my wedding. ; )
2- Accountability. There are people at my work who go to this gym, and frequently go work out at lunch. Seeing them go, them asking me if I'm going, and having to actually face up to someone if I don't go, is motivation for me. Also, although I'm new now, I have already started to meet people, and the instructors, at the gym and I would like to walk in proudly everyday and kick ass, not walk-in every other week and suck at the work out and know that I am not giving it enough.
3- Didn't even realize this as a reason, but now I'm noticing too, that the work outs are 10 million times better than working out alone at my house. The instructors target areas, change the routines, yell out to pump up the energy, and coach on form (VERY IMPORTANT). Work out videos just don't have that. I'm already not bored. I'm excited about even barely being able to keep up and I know that once I get better, there's so much room to keep pushing harder and harder. See, I'm excited... this is something I was totally missing when I was attempting to drag my comfy ass out of bed to go unwillingly work out in my living room. Which, brings me to the next reason;
4- Since my choice to work out doesn't have anything to do with staying in my nice warm covers, the choice is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to make. I'm already right there, there's classes at my lunch time, I have no good reason not to go. I like that. I didn't realize that I needed that decision to be easy for me. I would give myself such a hard time for being so lazy in the morning, and felt guilty about not making an effort to be healthy and strong (and look damn fine!). I can keep this up!!
5- This isn't so much a reason why I joined, but it is definitely going to make a huge difference for me, physically and financially. To use my lunch hour to to work out, I HAVE to get my clothes and food for the day ready at home and bring it to work with me. That automatically saves my money and calories to eat my lunch from home rather than going out to lunch (fast food, etc.). And.....the hard part is already done by the time my lunch hour comes. I already made the hard choices, and all I have to do is change clothes and walk over there.
YESSSSS!!!! Finally something that actually works for me. I've needed this for such a long time.
When my man was deployed to Iraq for the 2011 year, I worked out all the time and ate tons of veggies and I looked at felt amazing. A - MAY - ZING! When he got home (not blaming him at all!!), we just got lazy together. Who could help that? We got comfortable, and life happened and we didn't focus on healthy eating, and got stuck in the rut of whatever what quick and convenient. It's taken a year of this lifestyle to loose my muscle gain some weight back, and basically feel shitty, physically and mentally.
Side note- I am mostly not self conscious about my appearance. Thankfully, I have never mentally felt fat, I have always had confidence, but there's also a negative to that, and it's that I am normally fine with being lazy. I typically have needed to get to point of feeling physically disgusting before I've taken action. It wasn't until the year he was gone, where I 1)was trying to keep myself occupied, and 2)had the goal of getting in shape enough to have sex without being concerned about body fat flopping around. (Sorry to my future Mother in Law and Sister in Law, who sometimes ready my blog and would probably rather not know that detail, butttt, it's true, and it was a very good motivator.) Point is, it's the physical feeling of shittiness that motivates me. That is unfortunate, but at least there's something that will push me!
I don't like having the extra padding on my body. I don't like what it looks like in pictures, I don't like how it feels to clap my hands and have my flabby arms wave like wings (think, Oprah arms), and I surely don't like how my "skinny" pants feel tight now. I think I already mentioned that I WILL NOT BE BUYING NEW FREAKING FAT PANTS. I FUCKING REFUSE!!!!! I got rid of my larger sized clothes, knowing I never wanted to wear that size again. I still fit into my size 10 pants, but they're snug and THAT is enough of a rude awakening, among plenty of other reasons, to get my shit into gear and DO SOMETHING. (Among other reasons.... sugar. BLEH!! Tis the season, and that season is over, and as much as I enjoy cookies and pie and cake and monkey bread, I do NOT enjoy wasting money on new clothes in a size I don't want to wear. And I just feel nasty after all that sugary crap!!)
I can think about working out all I want. I can say I want to work out all day long. It finally dawned on me, (Thanks Nike!), to just freaking DO IT. Just do it. JUST DO IT. Keyword: DO.
So, to be clear. This is NOT a new year's resolution. This is in no way in hell a diet, don't even dare call it that. This is simply something that I want really really bad, and have finally figured out a way to make it happen.
I really hoped that after all the work I had done in 2011 that I would be able to keep it up. I had thought that my man would come home and we could work out together. Again, not blaming him at all, but that just didn't happen. I kept hoping we could somehow magically work our schedules or motivation and energy to get into the habit of doing something together, and I finally just realized I had to do it by myself. In 2011 I went with my friend Leia and it worked out great! Our schedules fit, our kids went to kid's club together, we carpooled, etc. Neither her nor the man could help me this time though.
I will admit, even though I refuse to diet, that I am tracking food on Weight Watchers. Again, that is an "investment" I made that I really didn't want to waste. I had signed up for a 3 month plan, that will be done the end of this month (January) and I don't think I'll be continuing it, but we'll see. I haven't tracked regularly up until this point, and I sure as hell haven't lost any weight (gained actually- shocking!), but thankfully, when I do finally get the motivation to work out, I naturally want to eat less crap. Why would I work so hard to burn calories and gain muscle, and then sabotage it with eating pumpkin pie for breakfast? So, I'm going to track this month, get my damn money's worth, which I already know works if I actually do it, and that will be my super banging kick-start. These work outs are already kicking my damn butt, so even a little bit of change in food intake (haha not diet) will make a difference.
All of that brings me to the point of this blog....
Last week I joined the gym and participated in my first group class exercise there. It was tough! !! The instructor had a mean work out lined up for us, and I pushed it, but with my complete lack of physical activity and poor food choices, I felt like shit afterwards. I started to feel light headed towards the end of the work out and felt nasty for a few hours afterwards, even after eating. When I asked, the instructor mentioned eating a snack beforehand, including carbs. (Maybe I should have known that... I did grab some almonds on my way over, knowing I needed to eat something, but it wasn't enough, and it was too late.)
That brings me to today, my second class (now that the holidays are over, I'm planning to go Mon-Thurs), and I ate an apple and a string cheese before, about an hour before. Guess what, I still felt light-headed. I followed up the work out with a almond milk/whey protein shake, and a banana, and I don't feel like shit now. That feeling went away pretty quickly, but what it made me realize, is that my body is a machine. I need fuel to give me energy and power. These are the sort of things people end up paying attention to when they work out. Those are not the things I was paying attention to when I was stuffing my face with spinach dip and french bread. Those are the things that I will learn, which snacks help me feel the best, and how soon I should eat before a work out. I will get used to fueling my body to kick-ass! Feeling like a machine was how I felt when I ran a lot to train for a half marathon. Realizing that the thoughts I had about running were totally separate from how my body actually performed. I pushed through wanting to take a break because I knew already that my body could handle it. It's so easy to feel intimidated about working hard and pushing your limits, but it's mental. My body is a machine that can accomlish WAY WAY more than my mind thinks I can. Note to self: Remember that!
I know it sounds like I'm giving myself a hard time. I'm not. Really. I just truly appreciate looking back and seeing how living my life one way will give me one set of results (heart burn for the first time in my life), and the results I get from living my life another way. I care about my life, for me, and also for the man I'm marrying this year, and of course for my daughter. For my daughter as an example, and even just to be around for her. Eventually I plan to have another baby and I want to start off in great shape before I get a new baby belly to work off. I care about my arms not looking fat in my wedding pictures.... I will look at those pictures for the rest of my life and I want to be tone and strong and .... even just comfortable. Comfortable to see those pictures and not wish that I could change something. I don't want disease. I dont' want to be sorry later on in life when it's too late. I know I can't wait for something to go terribly wrong before I try to fix it. Right now it's not too late. Every single day is a chance to start fresh. I'm setting myself up to win this time, because history shows that if I don't, then I fail.
It feels so much better to work hard than to feel guilty and lazy. SO. MUCH. BETTER. It's worth the effort.
-krista
Saturday, December 1, 2012
oh snap, son!
So.... I'm engaged.
My man proposed on November 11th, so I'm still getting used to the whole idea.
Funny how I've imagined getting married all my life, but never even considered what it would feel like to be engaged.
I'm excited!! First, because I'm in love and happy and want to shout it to the world, but also because I want our wedding to be a big fun party and THAT is totally exciting! Who doesn't love a party?
I'm also a little intimidated. Each time in my life I've dated someone I imagined what it would be like to be married to them, and inevitably, I'd see a little picture flash of what our wedding would look like. Each time I've pictured it, it's been different. Different times in my life, different relationships and dynamics, different things that we've cared about as couples. Well, now it's reality. Now, I really actually get to figure out what I (and the man) want and do it.
I think the potential cost is even more intimidating. That, and all of the details. Eventually I'll get to a point where I can think about details (I'm actually really good at that part and looking forward to it), but right now, they are so far away, I can't even go there.
I know... I KNOW that every bride says she wants a simple and inexpensive wedding..... and I'm going to say it too.
Here's a countdown! http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/wedding?iso=20130913T1730&p0=217&msg=W-word#
My man proposed on November 11th, so I'm still getting used to the whole idea.
Funny how I've imagined getting married all my life, but never even considered what it would feel like to be engaged.
I'm excited!! First, because I'm in love and happy and want to shout it to the world, but also because I want our wedding to be a big fun party and THAT is totally exciting! Who doesn't love a party?
I'm also a little intimidated. Each time in my life I've dated someone I imagined what it would be like to be married to them, and inevitably, I'd see a little picture flash of what our wedding would look like. Each time I've pictured it, it's been different. Different times in my life, different relationships and dynamics, different things that we've cared about as couples. Well, now it's reality. Now, I really actually get to figure out what I (and the man) want and do it.
I think the potential cost is even more intimidating. That, and all of the details. Eventually I'll get to a point where I can think about details (I'm actually really good at that part and looking forward to it), but right now, they are so far away, I can't even go there.
I know... I KNOW that every bride says she wants a simple and inexpensive wedding..... and I'm going to say it too.
Here's a countdown! http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/wedding?iso=20130913T1730&p0=217&msg=W-word#
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