Couple of things...
1st- Although this isn't the best reason ever to make a life changing effort to make my body healthier and trimmer, ANY reason at this point that actually gets me moving, is a good reason: My pants don't fit my ass. Last week I actually changed what I was wearing before leaving for work because my pants were uncomfortably tight. I REFUSE, REFUSE I SAY!!, to buy bigger pants. I got rid of all my bigger pants because I didn't want to ever wear them again. I sure as hell won't be spending money on more. So yes, pants not fitting is a good reason to work hard and lose some fat.
2nd - I've pooped twice so far today. That is exciting because, since I've been working out, I know that I'm losing fat, and I imagine my excess fat going down the drain with the poo. I wave and say "Peace the fuck out, fat!"
Awesome!
Parting words: The best way to see change is do actually DO something different.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
hindsight is a bitch
Okay, so wow.... almost exactly a year ago I posted my last blog. http://theresnoavailablenamesleft.blogspot.com/2011/10/plateau-my-ass-let-them-eat-cake.html
I find it extremely interesting (and motivating, thankfully) to see where I was at a year ago.
Basically that post was an "I DID IT" post, but also it said that I wanted to keep it up and live my life in a healthy and active way.
So here's the update. I didn't.
I have gained almost 15 lbs.... wow.... It's been a year of complete lack of exercise and awful food choices. I didn't feel crappy immediately though, and I've only started feeling chubby and slow for the last few months.
That aspect of my life is not how I wanted it to be, but it's not all bad though. Here's what I've got out of this situation:
1st - One of my deepest fears when I was working my ass off to lose weight, was that the second I stopped exercising and (Oh god I hate this word) technically "dieting" that I would get fat again. The truth is, that having to work to LOSE weight sucks. It does. I see the importance now of maintaining because RE-LOSING weight you've already lost sucks even more than trying to lose it the first time. It did take a long while to lose my awesome muscles, and even longer to start putting weight back on. Now hold on there, don't judge... I realize that this could sound like a way to be planned lazy, but really what it means to me, is that once I get to the size I want, I can maintain it WAY easier than I've feared. It's really the losing part that is so hard. That does mean however, that I will need to work my ass off (again) to get to my goal size. All the way there this time.
2nd - My lifestyle makes all the difference... Who I spend time with, what I spend time doing is ultimately going to make or break it.
For almost the entire year of 2011 my boyfriend was deployed to Iraq. I needed to keep busy, and I sure did! That was when I was the very most active with working out, and I'd tried Weight Watchers for a few months with great success. I lived with just my daughter and cooked all my own food. I'd lost weight, gained a ton of muscle and looked so freaking good. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier having the love of my life home. However, with any relationship, people get into life patterns. Our pattern has tended to be more sitting around the garage smoking (which I quit last month) or watching an episode or two of a sitcom after the kid has gone to bed. Our current lifestyle includes (sadly) very little activity. We have also not had much success with meal planning ahead of time. Inevitalbly, we fall trap, like a lot of people do, to the "what are we going to cook for dinner" rut, which ends with us cooking/eating whatever is convenient and fast. Convenient and fast typically equals shit food that does nothing good for our bodies. (Think macaroni and cheese or going out to get fast food.)
I copied this quote the other day because I liked it and didn't want to forget it, however, what I was just writing, fits with it.
"Easy is comfortable. It's what we are familiar with, used to and already capable of. Easy is what I did for 35 years. Easy resulted in me being unhappy with my body, my weight, myself and my life. Easy wasn't fun or memorable for any good reasons. "
Wonderful quote from A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures at http://www.sherylyvette.com/
I've read quite a few of her blogs, but that particular quote fits what's on my mind right now. Not only does "easy" refer to what kind of meals I eat, but also to the amount of activity in my life. Man... It really is so easy to be lazy. It's really easy to sleep in and not get out of bed when it's cold and dark. I'll need to remember that quote the next time my alarm goes off at 5am to work out. Then I can weigh what easy is actually worth.
No segue, but, I was just in the kitchen at work, and I went back there, knowing there was tons of crap food on the counter waiting for me, planning to grab a handful of raw almonds and get the hell out of there.... then there was spinach dip... damn. And guacamole... damn. My first thought was "What the hell was I thinking, trying to start Weight Watchers again right now?!?" By "right now" I mean, the Halloween holiday and the coming holidays that involve eating, like Thanksgiving (especially) and Christmas. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!? But then.... a realization.... there will ALWAYS be food around me. Aways. Around every holiday.
What is one to do?
I started Weight Watchers on Tuesday and I'm pretty sure (didn't log yesterday because I failed miserably and stuffed myself), that I have used all my flex points for the week already. Bleh... how embarrassing to admit.
The positive spin, and the cold hard truth.... at least I am actually paying attention now. Just think of all the days that have gone by that I've not payed any attention what so ever to what I'm eating or how much. What a harsh reality to see that when I think I'm not eating "too bad," that I am going so so so far overboard. Standing there in the kitchen eating one last tortilla chip with salsa, I also remembered how many times in the recent past I've eaten so much that my tummy feels sickeningly full and I need to lay around on the couch to recover from it. Wow... just wow.
I'm not feeling guity right now. I'm a little bit embarrassed, but mostly I am thankful that I've come back around to caring enough about my body and life that I want to change what I'm doing - which so obviously has not been working.
I don't need people waving a shaming finger "No no" at me when I reach for a piece of bread with spinach dip. I might bite that finger instead.
What I really need is people sharing their healthy and active lifestyles and delicious fresh REAL food recipies and experiments.
I need people showing me examples of excitment and courage, committment, and ass-kicking work outs.
I need friends who want to spend time with me moving and doing fun out door activities-- with our children who also need these things in their lives.
I need my boyfriend to plan meals with me, and grocery shop for the food we want to be eating, so that at the end of the day we can have a meal that will give our bodies fuel and nutrition to keep going. I also need a lifestyle with him that will keep us alive and healthy and feeling good about ourselves for a long ass time.
I also need acceptance for myself for where I'm at right now, and enough self love to keep going.
I find it extremely interesting (and motivating, thankfully) to see where I was at a year ago.
Basically that post was an "I DID IT" post, but also it said that I wanted to keep it up and live my life in a healthy and active way.
So here's the update. I didn't.
I have gained almost 15 lbs.... wow.... It's been a year of complete lack of exercise and awful food choices. I didn't feel crappy immediately though, and I've only started feeling chubby and slow for the last few months.
That aspect of my life is not how I wanted it to be, but it's not all bad though. Here's what I've got out of this situation:
1st - One of my deepest fears when I was working my ass off to lose weight, was that the second I stopped exercising and (Oh god I hate this word) technically "dieting" that I would get fat again. The truth is, that having to work to LOSE weight sucks. It does. I see the importance now of maintaining because RE-LOSING weight you've already lost sucks even more than trying to lose it the first time. It did take a long while to lose my awesome muscles, and even longer to start putting weight back on. Now hold on there, don't judge... I realize that this could sound like a way to be planned lazy, but really what it means to me, is that once I get to the size I want, I can maintain it WAY easier than I've feared. It's really the losing part that is so hard. That does mean however, that I will need to work my ass off (again) to get to my goal size. All the way there this time.
2nd - My lifestyle makes all the difference... Who I spend time with, what I spend time doing is ultimately going to make or break it.
For almost the entire year of 2011 my boyfriend was deployed to Iraq. I needed to keep busy, and I sure did! That was when I was the very most active with working out, and I'd tried Weight Watchers for a few months with great success. I lived with just my daughter and cooked all my own food. I'd lost weight, gained a ton of muscle and looked so freaking good. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier having the love of my life home. However, with any relationship, people get into life patterns. Our pattern has tended to be more sitting around the garage smoking (which I quit last month) or watching an episode or two of a sitcom after the kid has gone to bed. Our current lifestyle includes (sadly) very little activity. We have also not had much success with meal planning ahead of time. Inevitalbly, we fall trap, like a lot of people do, to the "what are we going to cook for dinner" rut, which ends with us cooking/eating whatever is convenient and fast. Convenient and fast typically equals shit food that does nothing good for our bodies. (Think macaroni and cheese or going out to get fast food.)
I copied this quote the other day because I liked it and didn't want to forget it, however, what I was just writing, fits with it.
"Easy is comfortable. It's what we are familiar with, used to and already capable of. Easy is what I did for 35 years. Easy resulted in me being unhappy with my body, my weight, myself and my life. Easy wasn't fun or memorable for any good reasons. "
Wonderful quote from A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures at http://www.sherylyvette.com/
I've read quite a few of her blogs, but that particular quote fits what's on my mind right now. Not only does "easy" refer to what kind of meals I eat, but also to the amount of activity in my life. Man... It really is so easy to be lazy. It's really easy to sleep in and not get out of bed when it's cold and dark. I'll need to remember that quote the next time my alarm goes off at 5am to work out. Then I can weigh what easy is actually worth.
No segue, but, I was just in the kitchen at work, and I went back there, knowing there was tons of crap food on the counter waiting for me, planning to grab a handful of raw almonds and get the hell out of there.... then there was spinach dip... damn. And guacamole... damn. My first thought was "What the hell was I thinking, trying to start Weight Watchers again right now?!?" By "right now" I mean, the Halloween holiday and the coming holidays that involve eating, like Thanksgiving (especially) and Christmas. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!? But then.... a realization.... there will ALWAYS be food around me. Aways. Around every holiday.
What is one to do?
I started Weight Watchers on Tuesday and I'm pretty sure (didn't log yesterday because I failed miserably and stuffed myself), that I have used all my flex points for the week already. Bleh... how embarrassing to admit.
The positive spin, and the cold hard truth.... at least I am actually paying attention now. Just think of all the days that have gone by that I've not payed any attention what so ever to what I'm eating or how much. What a harsh reality to see that when I think I'm not eating "too bad," that I am going so so so far overboard. Standing there in the kitchen eating one last tortilla chip with salsa, I also remembered how many times in the recent past I've eaten so much that my tummy feels sickeningly full and I need to lay around on the couch to recover from it. Wow... just wow.
I'm not feeling guity right now. I'm a little bit embarrassed, but mostly I am thankful that I've come back around to caring enough about my body and life that I want to change what I'm doing - which so obviously has not been working.
I don't need people waving a shaming finger "No no" at me when I reach for a piece of bread with spinach dip. I might bite that finger instead.
What I really need is people sharing their healthy and active lifestyles and delicious fresh REAL food recipies and experiments.
I need people showing me examples of excitment and courage, committment, and ass-kicking work outs.
I need friends who want to spend time with me moving and doing fun out door activities-- with our children who also need these things in their lives.
I need my boyfriend to plan meals with me, and grocery shop for the food we want to be eating, so that at the end of the day we can have a meal that will give our bodies fuel and nutrition to keep going. I also need a lifestyle with him that will keep us alive and healthy and feeling good about ourselves for a long ass time.
I also need acceptance for myself for where I'm at right now, and enough self love to keep going.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
plateau my ass, let them eat cake!
so... i haven't been working out! : O !!!! i know. it's awful. i still feel muscle-y and my super skinny clothes are fitting me better than ever. i'm eating mostly healthy (aside from the birthday cake), but i haven't been going to the gym. i feel guilty and lazy, and i have this underlying fear that i'm going to get fat again. : (
this is partly an excuse, but it is partly legitimate as a real defense, and that is that my back has been hurting super duper bad. i started going to the chiropractor's office about a month ago. i am starting to feel better- i noticed that when i was shaving in the shower the other day, that my back hurt only a little bit, but it didn't feel like it was breaking in half... so that's progress. i didn't WANT to stop going to the gym when i started going to the chiropractor, but aside from the pain that definitely was limiting me, my schedule has been turned upside down. having a "strict" schedule for going to the gym, which turned into a routine, was a big part of my success in going. so now that just about all the nights i had planned for the gym are taken up by chiro appointments, i have to change something... and soon!!!!
i wanted to mention a good thing, which is going to be my motivation to get my shrunken ass back in there, and that is that i am OFFICIALLY wearing a size 10 pant and really starting to need medium shirts. that really is amazing. to put it in perspective- when i was in high school, i weighed about 155-160 and wore 9/10 pants and small/medium shirts. since high school, pretty quickly after- since i got a desk job and an office ass, i've worn, pretty solidly, a 14 pant and large shirts. ... this has been the last 10 years.... all of my adult life. after i gave birth to gwendolyn i was wearing a 16 pant, not for too long, but 14's weren't cutting it, and i even bought a couple of XL shirts. wow. ... so after training for the half marathon i got back into 14's and even bought some 12's, woo hoo! THAT was exciting. So for the past couple years, i've been a steady 12-14. anyhow... boring!!!! but this is leading up to the good thing, that is not only am i solidly in a ten, for reals, not tight at all. even the green pants that kate (with the hot ass) gave me, fit perfectly! woo effing hoo! my new jeans... size 8. the dress for gabrielle's wedding and also the christmas party- 8. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????? i hardly can for some reason. and the medium shirts, even though it doesn't seem like a big deal, i TRULY have worn large forever... foreeeeeeever, and i'm not just barely squeezing into mediums, it's that my larges are TOO big, i HAVE to buy mediums. okay, so i know it looks like i'm bragging, but what i'm really doing is providing PROOF that living like this works... (except for the chocolate cake... well, chocolate cake sometimes is okay.)
eating veggies, not being a lazy ass, who would have thought? not just a little bit of weight, 30 pounds.... 3 sizes down.... THIS is going to have to be my motivation for going back.
i never wanted to "just" loose weight. i wanted to loose weight, but also look tone and athletic. not just skinny with flab, but toned- muscles, clothes fitting nicely, less belly fat to shift around when i sit down. all that. AND to feel good. to have energy, to not feel ill because all i ate for the day was sugar. i've been doing it. the truth is, i can do it more. i can do it better. i don't want to give up- this IS how i want to live my life. getting off track makes it hard as hell to get back on.
here's what i'm going to do. i'm making it public so i can't change my mind.
1. go back to the gym- mondays, wednesdays, and thursdays are OUT, so i now have to go tuesday with leia, friday after work, saturday morning with leia, and sunday if i can muster it.... or maybe just a fun outdoor activity, like a walk to the park. i can handle that. it's not any more or less than i was already doing, i just have to have a plan! otherwise saturday morning comes around and all i want to do is laze around and drink coffee.... i'll plan that for sunday- can't cut out lazing around drinking coffee!!!! this has to be a plan i can live with!
2. get another water bottle (universe- you can help with this). my other one finally broke after i dropped it too many times, but it REALLY helped with getting enough water, since it was about 30 ounces and i only had to drink 3 of them in a day. in the meantime, just drink some damn water out of a cup... 10 million cups, but still.
3. finish off that chocolate cake.... and not get another one. ; ) easy enough.
4. think about meals for the week and prep. although, ideally, i'd like to have it all written out and planned, maybe on a calendar. i'm visual, so having it sort of set out for meals on certain days would ease my mind. what would be really awsome though, is coming home from work and knowing already exactly what i would cook and knowing that i already had everything i needed to cook it. the hassle of finally getting home, taking off my work clothes and high heels, getting gwen into something to occupy here, and then having to use my head to figure out what to make for dinner- and then taking the time to pull it all together- that's when we end up having cereal for dinner. ; ) so having a plan is a good start! also grocery shopping in advance so we have things for certain recipes, and then prepping some stuff ahead of time.
okay, that's it for now. like i recently told someone, i'm not totally off the wagon, i'm just being dragged behind it right now, holding on for dear life. ; )
i just don't want to get all new nice fitting clothes, get rid of my bigger ones, then gain some weight back and have nothing to wear again. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.... i like my body too much now. i don't EVER EVER EVER want to be that size again. when i get knocked up, i'll buy some maternity clothes, but i'm not going to let myself get to the point i was before....i just can't. my body, my life, and my happiness is worth it.
: ) cheers friends!
this is partly an excuse, but it is partly legitimate as a real defense, and that is that my back has been hurting super duper bad. i started going to the chiropractor's office about a month ago. i am starting to feel better- i noticed that when i was shaving in the shower the other day, that my back hurt only a little bit, but it didn't feel like it was breaking in half... so that's progress. i didn't WANT to stop going to the gym when i started going to the chiropractor, but aside from the pain that definitely was limiting me, my schedule has been turned upside down. having a "strict" schedule for going to the gym, which turned into a routine, was a big part of my success in going. so now that just about all the nights i had planned for the gym are taken up by chiro appointments, i have to change something... and soon!!!!
i wanted to mention a good thing, which is going to be my motivation to get my shrunken ass back in there, and that is that i am OFFICIALLY wearing a size 10 pant and really starting to need medium shirts. that really is amazing. to put it in perspective- when i was in high school, i weighed about 155-160 and wore 9/10 pants and small/medium shirts. since high school, pretty quickly after- since i got a desk job and an office ass, i've worn, pretty solidly, a 14 pant and large shirts. ... this has been the last 10 years.... all of my adult life. after i gave birth to gwendolyn i was wearing a 16 pant, not for too long, but 14's weren't cutting it, and i even bought a couple of XL shirts. wow. ... so after training for the half marathon i got back into 14's and even bought some 12's, woo hoo! THAT was exciting. So for the past couple years, i've been a steady 12-14. anyhow... boring!!!! but this is leading up to the good thing, that is not only am i solidly in a ten, for reals, not tight at all. even the green pants that kate (with the hot ass) gave me, fit perfectly! woo effing hoo! my new jeans... size 8. the dress for gabrielle's wedding and also the christmas party- 8. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????? i hardly can for some reason. and the medium shirts, even though it doesn't seem like a big deal, i TRULY have worn large forever... foreeeeeeever, and i'm not just barely squeezing into mediums, it's that my larges are TOO big, i HAVE to buy mediums. okay, so i know it looks like i'm bragging, but what i'm really doing is providing PROOF that living like this works... (except for the chocolate cake... well, chocolate cake sometimes is okay.)
eating veggies, not being a lazy ass, who would have thought? not just a little bit of weight, 30 pounds.... 3 sizes down.... THIS is going to have to be my motivation for going back.
i never wanted to "just" loose weight. i wanted to loose weight, but also look tone and athletic. not just skinny with flab, but toned- muscles, clothes fitting nicely, less belly fat to shift around when i sit down. all that. AND to feel good. to have energy, to not feel ill because all i ate for the day was sugar. i've been doing it. the truth is, i can do it more. i can do it better. i don't want to give up- this IS how i want to live my life. getting off track makes it hard as hell to get back on.
here's what i'm going to do. i'm making it public so i can't change my mind.
1. go back to the gym- mondays, wednesdays, and thursdays are OUT, so i now have to go tuesday with leia, friday after work, saturday morning with leia, and sunday if i can muster it.... or maybe just a fun outdoor activity, like a walk to the park. i can handle that. it's not any more or less than i was already doing, i just have to have a plan! otherwise saturday morning comes around and all i want to do is laze around and drink coffee.... i'll plan that for sunday- can't cut out lazing around drinking coffee!!!! this has to be a plan i can live with!
2. get another water bottle (universe- you can help with this). my other one finally broke after i dropped it too many times, but it REALLY helped with getting enough water, since it was about 30 ounces and i only had to drink 3 of them in a day. in the meantime, just drink some damn water out of a cup... 10 million cups, but still.
3. finish off that chocolate cake.... and not get another one. ; ) easy enough.
4. think about meals for the week and prep. although, ideally, i'd like to have it all written out and planned, maybe on a calendar. i'm visual, so having it sort of set out for meals on certain days would ease my mind. what would be really awsome though, is coming home from work and knowing already exactly what i would cook and knowing that i already had everything i needed to cook it. the hassle of finally getting home, taking off my work clothes and high heels, getting gwen into something to occupy here, and then having to use my head to figure out what to make for dinner- and then taking the time to pull it all together- that's when we end up having cereal for dinner. ; ) so having a plan is a good start! also grocery shopping in advance so we have things for certain recipes, and then prepping some stuff ahead of time.
okay, that's it for now. like i recently told someone, i'm not totally off the wagon, i'm just being dragged behind it right now, holding on for dear life. ; )
i just don't want to get all new nice fitting clothes, get rid of my bigger ones, then gain some weight back and have nothing to wear again. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.... i like my body too much now. i don't EVER EVER EVER want to be that size again. when i get knocked up, i'll buy some maternity clothes, but i'm not going to let myself get to the point i was before....i just can't. my body, my life, and my happiness is worth it.
: ) cheers friends!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
changes
i would say that i am adaptable. i tend to think i learn quickly. i do ask a lot of questions though.
i can come through things and be okay. by things, i mean when situations change, dynamics thrown off, order of events altered, and physical changes of people, places, and things.
i have finally noticed that although i haven't any doubt about making it through these things, i do have apprehension and anxiety about not knowing where all this "shit" is going to land (after hitting the fan.)
i don't even necessarily believe these (or most other) changes are bad. i ALWAYS end up in a better place when there's an upheaval. it's the discomfort of the phoenix's fire that throws me off. i guess it just seems that there's a place i go in my head that is unique from all the others. it's a different thought process, a shift in what i'm used to.
i'm not afraid of failing. i know i can do this.
i'm not afraid of opinions. i have genuine intent, and a pure heart.
i'm can keep my calm..... with lots of deep breaths and positive thoughts. (mental image: do NOT be the upside duck paddling chaotically).
it's just change. not sure why it freaks me out............................ but it does.
i can accept each moment for what it's worth. there's just a lot going on and it overwhelms me sometimes.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
relax
interesting how, when things get going rough, that we can, so quickly and so automatically, switch into one of our modes. i realize i have "survival mode", "transistion mode", "defensive mode", "stressed the fuck out mode" (also known as "overwhelmed and shutting down mode"), which quickly morphs into the "I'm so fucking over it mode." i wouldn't say that any of these ways of operation are typical or normal for me, but sometimes they just get switched on. although we do need some way of handling difficult situations, what i'm noticing is how fast and how easy i can switch into these alternate methods of handling life.
relax.
there was more, but i deleted it. i'm not sure that i'm ready for this shit in my head to be made solid.
relax.
there was more, but i deleted it. i'm not sure that i'm ready for this shit in my head to be made solid.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
plateau
although i was warned, i am definitely one for learning my own lessons. i have officially hit a plateau in my weight loss/muscle gain/health adventure. i could call it that... but really, i went from eating great and working out so-so, to working out great and eating so-so, so it's not a huge surprise that i have stopped losing weight. i look pretty darn good still since i'm becoming more tone, but i'm just not done yet!! i want to plateau out and have a decently easy time staying the same size once i actually GET to my goal weight... not yet. grrrr.
the sad truth is that eating out just isn't really possible if i really want to get to my goal weight- AND stay there. once in a while should be fine, but it's going to have to be the exception. not only does it cost too much to eat lunch out every day, the food is nasty ass shit... and by "nasty ass shit" i mean it taste really good but it's a zillion points/calories. so really- although it tastes pretty good, i'm actually more disgusted by how damn EASY it is to be fat. our society, our culture, our EVERY DAMN DAY LIVING is disgusting! to lose weight or to not become obese (again) i just can't live like that. that's all there is to it.
so now, truthfully, how possible is it for me to "bow out" of that lifestyle? the choice in my head is easy, but the logistics are damn near impossible. when all of the options around me are crazy fattening (not to mention chemical-y and processed and just completely unhealthy in general). i'm realizing that if i want to eat healthy- for the most part, i just have to make it myself. there really aren't many (if any) options where i can just run out grab some food. i think that's where the "culture" part comes in.
for example, a few weeks ago i was really feeling like i needed some red meat. good old beef- sometimes i crave it, and i typically listen to that sort of craving. anyhow, i go to johnny rockets, i think? thank goodness the menus are starting to have the calories listed, but woah... woah... that's all i can say. to put it in perspective, i should be eating around 1200-1400 calories a day. i am trying to lose weight, so maybe a typical healthy person at a healthy weight could/would eat more. anyhow, that point is, that just a regular ol meal there would consist of a burger, fries, and a drink- maybe even a milkshake. the burger alone.... almost 1500 calories. that's JUST lunch, not even the whole lunch. how easy is it to go to a restaurant and eat your entire day's calories in one meal? WAY TOO EASY. then you eat another meal for dinner- i find that to be DISGUSTING. i'm not pretending to be high and mighty- no way! i've fallen for the same thing that everyone else has fallen for, and i think that may just be ignorance and laziness. so now i know, and i'm not entirely lazy, so how do i just stop eating that stuff?
people eat socially. schedules permit "fast" food. how does one participate in life without the option of eating out? i realize i'm asking more questions than answering, but that's the point- i don't have the answers. i'm just waking up to this sick reality that it's WAY easier to be fat, stay fat, get fat, teach our children to be fat, and die fat. and before we die we are uncomfortable physically, our clothes fit awfully, we are tormented mentally, and we judge, criticize, and guilt ourselves constantly. now is that any way to live? i've decided now, that NO, it is not a good way to live. i don't like the easy options for "normal" living.
i don't believe so much in new years resolutions, but at the beginning of this year i started a vegetable crusade. i was literally feeling ill, and i honestly believe it was due to the lack of nutrients my body was receiving. someone else was doing all of the cooking in my household, and as yummy as it tasted, it was not what i needed to live. hardly any veggies at all, if any, they were cooked with TONS (and i mean TONS!!!) of oil and butter. now i'm no nutritionist, but i know that the ratios of meat, carbs, and veggies should probably not lean towards mostly carbs, way too much meat, and no veggies. From the USDA's "My Plate" dietary guidelines:
Foods to Increase
● Make half your plate fruits and vegetables.
● Make at least half your grains whole grains.
● Switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk.
good to know! also, with weight watchers i learned that i only really need a tiny serving of meat and carbs, and then i just use mostly veggies to fill up! i use fruits mostly as snacks or with my breakfast. : ) even with pasta i like mostly veggies in the sauce over it. i guess the point of this paragraph is to say that i know HOW to eat more healthy, and typically i enjoy it. i've really been excited about talking to friends about cooking and trying recipes from magazines. my weakness is simply eating out. the weakness is simple to recognize, but it's not simple to rectify.
so today for lunch, i went to the grocery store. i am actually quite pleased with the selection i ended up with. i have some good plans for all the fruits and veggies i got.
here are the things i will focus on to be successful in my crusade for a healthy and beautiful body:
1- meal plan. have ideas for what i'll be cooking through out the week and ensure i have the necessary ingredients.
2- stick to bringing lunch to work. it's not hard for me to stick to the good stuff if i don't have other options- i just can't say how many times i've ditched my good stuff for 1500 calorie hamburgers/fries/shakes or cheesy mexican (i drool just thinking about that).
that makes me realize i need to do this-
3- think about foods that i really like to eat and figure out how to make them myself in a more nutritious way. i can still have cheesy mexican- but now it will be more veggies and less cheese. this can work!
4- ultimately i realize that simply PAYING ATTENTION to what i'm eating makes a big difference. i don't want to HAVE to be on weight watchers or counting calories for the rest of my life, to do that i'll need a good repertoire of food that i know i can eat guiltlessly. i like where this is going!
5- limit my social excursions, since there's not much getting around the nasty ass shit once i'm out and about.
6- if i must eat out, i'll pay close attention to what i order. i don't have to automatically give up just because i've walked into the doors of a restaurant.
as always- recognize and celebrate progress. progress excites us and motivates us to continue.
keep on keeping on!
xoxo krista
oh- almost forgot. the whole reason i started this post was to say that when i went grocery shopping today i was not only pleased with my selections, but PROUD. my lunch was delicious! here's a picture. i didn't think to take a picture until i was almost done, so here's what was left of it. mixed greens & spinach, bell pepper, tomato, crab meat, cucumber, salt/pepper, and honey mustard dressing.
the sad truth is that eating out just isn't really possible if i really want to get to my goal weight- AND stay there. once in a while should be fine, but it's going to have to be the exception. not only does it cost too much to eat lunch out every day, the food is nasty ass shit... and by "nasty ass shit" i mean it taste really good but it's a zillion points/calories. so really- although it tastes pretty good, i'm actually more disgusted by how damn EASY it is to be fat. our society, our culture, our EVERY DAMN DAY LIVING is disgusting! to lose weight or to not become obese (again) i just can't live like that. that's all there is to it.
so now, truthfully, how possible is it for me to "bow out" of that lifestyle? the choice in my head is easy, but the logistics are damn near impossible. when all of the options around me are crazy fattening (not to mention chemical-y and processed and just completely unhealthy in general). i'm realizing that if i want to eat healthy- for the most part, i just have to make it myself. there really aren't many (if any) options where i can just run out grab some food. i think that's where the "culture" part comes in.
for example, a few weeks ago i was really feeling like i needed some red meat. good old beef- sometimes i crave it, and i typically listen to that sort of craving. anyhow, i go to johnny rockets, i think? thank goodness the menus are starting to have the calories listed, but woah... woah... that's all i can say. to put it in perspective, i should be eating around 1200-1400 calories a day. i am trying to lose weight, so maybe a typical healthy person at a healthy weight could/would eat more. anyhow, that point is, that just a regular ol meal there would consist of a burger, fries, and a drink- maybe even a milkshake. the burger alone.... almost 1500 calories. that's JUST lunch, not even the whole lunch. how easy is it to go to a restaurant and eat your entire day's calories in one meal? WAY TOO EASY. then you eat another meal for dinner- i find that to be DISGUSTING. i'm not pretending to be high and mighty- no way! i've fallen for the same thing that everyone else has fallen for, and i think that may just be ignorance and laziness. so now i know, and i'm not entirely lazy, so how do i just stop eating that stuff?
people eat socially. schedules permit "fast" food. how does one participate in life without the option of eating out? i realize i'm asking more questions than answering, but that's the point- i don't have the answers. i'm just waking up to this sick reality that it's WAY easier to be fat, stay fat, get fat, teach our children to be fat, and die fat. and before we die we are uncomfortable physically, our clothes fit awfully, we are tormented mentally, and we judge, criticize, and guilt ourselves constantly. now is that any way to live? i've decided now, that NO, it is not a good way to live. i don't like the easy options for "normal" living.
i don't believe so much in new years resolutions, but at the beginning of this year i started a vegetable crusade. i was literally feeling ill, and i honestly believe it was due to the lack of nutrients my body was receiving. someone else was doing all of the cooking in my household, and as yummy as it tasted, it was not what i needed to live. hardly any veggies at all, if any, they were cooked with TONS (and i mean TONS!!!) of oil and butter. now i'm no nutritionist, but i know that the ratios of meat, carbs, and veggies should probably not lean towards mostly carbs, way too much meat, and no veggies. From the USDA's "My Plate" dietary guidelines:
Foods to Increase
● Make half your plate fruits and vegetables.
● Make at least half your grains whole grains.
● Switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk.
good to know! also, with weight watchers i learned that i only really need a tiny serving of meat and carbs, and then i just use mostly veggies to fill up! i use fruits mostly as snacks or with my breakfast. : ) even with pasta i like mostly veggies in the sauce over it. i guess the point of this paragraph is to say that i know HOW to eat more healthy, and typically i enjoy it. i've really been excited about talking to friends about cooking and trying recipes from magazines. my weakness is simply eating out. the weakness is simple to recognize, but it's not simple to rectify.
so today for lunch, i went to the grocery store. i am actually quite pleased with the selection i ended up with. i have some good plans for all the fruits and veggies i got.
here are the things i will focus on to be successful in my crusade for a healthy and beautiful body:
1- meal plan. have ideas for what i'll be cooking through out the week and ensure i have the necessary ingredients.
2- stick to bringing lunch to work. it's not hard for me to stick to the good stuff if i don't have other options- i just can't say how many times i've ditched my good stuff for 1500 calorie hamburgers/fries/shakes or cheesy mexican (i drool just thinking about that).
that makes me realize i need to do this-
3- think about foods that i really like to eat and figure out how to make them myself in a more nutritious way. i can still have cheesy mexican- but now it will be more veggies and less cheese. this can work!
4- ultimately i realize that simply PAYING ATTENTION to what i'm eating makes a big difference. i don't want to HAVE to be on weight watchers or counting calories for the rest of my life, to do that i'll need a good repertoire of food that i know i can eat guiltlessly. i like where this is going!
5- limit my social excursions, since there's not much getting around the nasty ass shit once i'm out and about.
6- if i must eat out, i'll pay close attention to what i order. i don't have to automatically give up just because i've walked into the doors of a restaurant.
as always- recognize and celebrate progress. progress excites us and motivates us to continue.
keep on keeping on!
xoxo krista
oh- almost forgot. the whole reason i started this post was to say that when i went grocery shopping today i was not only pleased with my selections, but PROUD. my lunch was delicious! here's a picture. i didn't think to take a picture until i was almost done, so here's what was left of it. mixed greens & spinach, bell pepper, tomato, crab meat, cucumber, salt/pepper, and honey mustard dressing.
happy ending : )
thanks to the gang of kids in my apartment complex, i was able to track down baby kitty. a little boy had scooped her up and brought her home. she is now officially adopted and being fed. him and his mom let me visit with her once i explained why i was concerned. she had no visible fleas and her tail looks to be healing. she was still super skinny (it's only been 2 days), but she was obviously happy to have a home. : ) this little boy had wanted a cat for a while (his mom explained) and when he turned up home with this one, momma said yes. must have been meant to be. he looked so proud. i wonder if he even realizes that he may have saved her life? what a hero. so here she is- Mini. xoxo
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